When You Cry
by Zellycat
Summary: Songfic. Hard times are so much harder when the people you keep you strong are gone and all that is left is memories. Can Kadaj continue without his brothers at his side?Or will he fail?Or will his brothers memories keep him strong enough to continue?


**This is a small songfic to the song When You Cry by Vertical Horizon (a awesome band) that just inspired me to write this little fanfic because it bugged me to the point i had to write it. Well this fanfic is dedicated to my bestest friend Alex for sitting her media exam today. Alex-chan you rock so much and i hope you enjoy. I hope you did well but I know you did as i have faith in you. And no your not a dream.**

**Disclaimer: Advent Children does not belong to me it belongs to Square Enix and the song When You Cry does not belong to me either it belongs to the awesome band Vertical Horizon. **

**Bold: Lyrics **

**Italics: flashbacks****

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Kadaj closed his eyes as he heard a rippling blast echo from the tunnel. Cloud had managed to escape from the blast that the Turks had caused but his brothers he was not sure about. He did not see them leave it, opening his eyes in vain hope to see his brothers not far behind him duelling Cloud thus distracting him from him allowing him to escape and join with mother, just liked they had promised to.

Kadaj look behind to see that Cloud was hot on his heels but there was no sign of either of his brothers and he felt fear rise within him, he was alone his brothers were no longer beside him to protect him for danger no matter how much he argued that he did not need them to protect him. They still did, but now they could not, which left Kadaj with the foreign feeling of insecurity. He was alone now he had nobody watching his back just in case a threat became from behind them. There was no one beside him to reassure him that everything would be ok that they would be with mother or to lighten up the mood when things turned grim. He was alone now, but deep down he knew that he would never be alone his brothers would never allow it.

**Heaven knows you're with me now**

**Heaven knows that you're here.**

Kadaj knew that deep down that his brother where still with him even if they were not right beside him. He felt something tug right down deep inside him that told him that his brothers were not dead but they were gravely injured and in great need of his help. He could sense their pain and it pained him deeply to know that his brothers were in so much pain deep down he knew that they were going to die unless they got help soon. His mind was torn between turning round and trying to find brothers and being with his brothers, which would ultimately mean they would have failed mother, or to continue and have the reunion without his brothers and forsake them to the fate that now lay before them.

Whichever decision he took Kadaj felt that his heart would break. Whichever decision he took he would be letting down somebody who was in need of him. He knew that he should not let down mother, mother need her sons to be with her and he need to be with her, the reunion needed to take place for mother to be happy, but Kadaj not help but feel that it was his duty to go back to his brothers.

Quickening up his speed he sped away from the tunnel feeling incredibly guilty that he was abandoning this brothers to their deaths, even though they had spent their entire lives protecting him from any danger and sheltered him as much as possible from the evil they faced on their journey. They had been loyal as ever when they had distracted Cloud today to give him a opportunity to escape, Kadaj knew even if they knew what was waiting for them when they entered the tunnel they still would have done it just to give him the advantage, they always put him before themselves.

**I feel your breath all around me now  
And all the pain just disappears  
It goes away, it goes away**

Kadaj heard a faint whisper, which travelled on the wind for his ears only. It was from his brothers telling him not to worry about them they would be fine but he needed to continue as he finally had mother and everything they had dreamed about right within his hands and that he should not give that up for anything.

Kadaj knew that his brothers were crying as they spoke to him. They were hurting but they were trying to be brave for him even though they probably never been in so much pain or been that scared in their lives and they were doing it for him. They were doing it so he would not feel guilty or blame himself for this.

Kadaj could tell they were scared and knew that their time was ending as they sounded broken even though they tried to hide it their voices betrayed them. Their voices were laced with fear and he could tell they were crying too, their voices were shaky and it was nothing to do with the pain they were in.

Nothing disturbed Kadaj and scared him more than the fact they were not taunting each other over the fact the other one was crying. They taunted each other when the other was crying, not to be nasty to the other but the opposite they taunted each other to stop the other from crying by making them retaliate against them thus stopping the crying. Neither of them could stand to see either of their brothers crying it hurt them to know that their brother was upset or in pain and the taunting was to stop the pain. Even though Kadaj never joined in the taunting he was away secretly grateful for it as it stopped the crying and therefore stopped the pain that soared through him when his brothers cried.

**And it only hurts, when you cry  
I'm only sad when there's tears in your eyes  
I can't hide and say I'm fine  
But it only hurts, when you cry**

_Kadaj rubbed his eyes as he sat up and mumbled at the fact he had woken up in the middle of the night, as he was extremely tired and had to be up early to discuss with his brothers what their next action would be. Looking around the sleeping area he noticed that neither of his brothers were there with him. Fearing that something was wrong he jumped up and went to search for his brothers. He looked up to the sky and noticed that the moon was on its way down and it must have been around four o'clock. Kadaj went around the camp hand clutching his sword protectively ready to protect himself or his brothers if it came to it. _

_He walked into the clearing next to the lake to find his brothers talking in hushed voices. Yazoo was perched low on his knees looking down to the floor, he was drawing something in the dirt. His eyebrows were knotted signalling that he was concentrating deeply on whatever he was drawing. Loz lay on his stomach with his arms holding up his head; yawning sleepily, he was following whatever Yazoo was drawing and making a few suggestions that would make Yazoo look at him before changing the drawing slightly._

"_What are you doing?" Kadaj asked making them jump._

"_Erm… planning what we are doing tomorrow." Loz told him._

"_Why didn't you wake me?" Kadaj ask them again._

"_Because you needed to sleep." Loz said simply._

"_You to need sleep too though." Kadaj told them._

"_Not as much as you do." Yazoo said matter of factly as he looked up to Kadaj. "Don't worry about us, Go back to sleep your tired and we can handle this." _

"_Fine but tell me your plan first." Kadaj gave in._

"_Simple." Loz answered. "Me and Yazoo are going to take the children to the monument and distract Cloud and the Turks so that you can go and see the President again and find out where mother is. Then later on we will meet up here."_

"_Are you sure that it is safe for you to do that. Cloud is pretty strong and the so are the Turks." _

"_I told you not to worry about us." Yazoo quirked up. "You don't need to worry about anything other than yourself and mother. Let us take care of anything else; we need to find mother brother before it is too late to. We will be fine I promise as much as I promise to keep them away from you so you can find mother."_

**You carry too much on your shoulders**

**I can't wait till you let me down**

**Cause the only thing we're getting is older**

Kadaj snapped back out of his reverie as he jolted down the side of the hill when he had came off the road. Yazoo had failed to keep the promises he had made the night before. Kadaj could not help but wish that Yazoo had kept both of his promises but knew that it was completely out of Yazoo's control. If Yazoo had his way, he and Loz would be riding right behind him duelling and taunting Cloud by never giving him any inkling of what they were going to do next and being as unpredictable as ever.

Sighing Kadaj wished that Yazoo had been able to keep his promises as they were so close to the reunion and victory had been in their grasp when they had spilt up. Loz and Yazoo had done their overly protective older brother thing and shielded him from Cloud by attacking him and leading him into the tunnel where as he had taken the opposite road.

Kadaj knew that his brothers both knew that there was a chance that Cloud could beat them both, that Cloud was incredibly strong and had many friends that could trap them and not matter how strong they were they would not defeat all of them along with Cloud. Yet they still lead Cloud away from him.

**This time never comes back around  
You just gave it, gave it away**

_Kadaj walked into the camp and found masses of children conversing near the lake. Their conversations died when he entered the clearing. He knew that his brothers had been successful at rounding up children. He wondered where his were as they were nowhere in sight until one of the small girl walked up to him._

"_You're Kadaj. Right?" She asked timidly but continued after he nodded. "Your brothers want you to meet them in the sleeping area, they said it's important. They went there because the big one was hurt and need tending to so don't be mad that them not being here."_

_Kadaj entered the sleeping area to find Yazoo tending to Loz who was trying his best not to cry as Yazoo touched his injuries. Yazoo laughed kindly to Loz telling him that he could not believe that a girl did this to him and to stop sniffling as he sound like a girl. Which made Loz laugh though his tears and tell Yazoo that if anyone was a girl it was Yazoo not him, making Yazoo pout._

**And it only hurts, when you cry  
I'm only sad when there's tears in your eyes  
I can't hide and say I'm fine  
But it only hurts, when you cry  
When you cry**

Kadaj came to a stop as he entered the church. This was the infamous church that Loz got beat up in, he could still hear the laughter in Yazoo's voice as Yazoo retold the story to him and Loz fervently deny that he had been beaten up by a woman and that Yazoo had not been there so what would he know anyway.

Kadaj had just laughed at his brothers antics back then, knowing that it was just light banter between the pair to keep each others spirits up after nearly defeating Cloud only to have one of his friends come to save him. This had been greatly annoying for all of them. Kadaj wished that he could go back in time back to then and to be sitting around with his brothers, to be able to listen to them argue again, listen to them tease each other but he knew that it was impossible, his brothers were gone forever.

**  
Heaven knows you're with me now  
And I'll do my best to hold on**

Cloud was not far behind him and Kadaj knew that he had to continue and get anyway from here to get to a safe place before he could be reunited with mother but it looked like he would have to fight Cloud before he would be allowed to do this. Stifling a sigh Kadaj continued on his way, fighting was the last thing he wanted to do right now. He had just lost his brothers because they had been fighting Cloud to protect him and mother and he did not want to face Cloud now at all, he just wanted to be with mother and his brothers and be anywhere but here. Nothing was worth the cost of his brothers.

**Cause nothing is worth all this fighting now**

He knew however, that if Yazoo and Loz were there beside him they would have killed him for giving up so easily. He could virtually hear there voices inside of him telling him to never give up, that giving up was not his style. He was the strong one that could not be beaten by something so simple as them not being with him, that he did not need them to hold his hand that he was not a baby, look at anything he had achieved he had done it he had found mother.

No, he could not give up now not even if it meant he would have to fight Cloud. He would not let mother or his brothers down. He would do it for his brothers he would seek revenge for them. To thank them for always being beside him and protecting him, they deserved nothing less and besides Cloud would pay for being the cause of his brothers' deaths even if he had not killed them himself.

He would not stop until Cloud was defeated or he was able to escape because then he would be able to reunite with mother and his brothers. He knew that would be reunited with his brothers, mother would make sure of that even if it was after he was reunited with her, she would bring them to her for the simple reason they had sacrificed their lives so that he could reunite with mother. He would not stop until he was reunited with his family and all the pain and weariness of being alone had gone away.

**  
And I won't give up till it's gone  
Make it go away, go away  
Make it go away, go away **

**Cause it only hurts, when you cry  
I'm only sad when there's tears in your eyes  
I can't hide and say I'm fine  
But it only hurts, when you cry

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**Well that was it. I hope it was ok and I did the song justice and not killed the song for anyone who knew it. Please tell me what you thought of it as it was my first proper attempt at doing a songfic and any advice on how to improve would be nice.**


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